Weirder

WEIRD MAGAZINE BID

5 min wake up wierd

Weirded Out

WEIRD

weirder still

weirdlyso

Congested Dog

Dogstar Sirus

Dogstar

Magazine
Dog Star Congested.
Captain: Yes, steady as she goes helmsman.
Pilot: Thats Cockswain.
Captain: Oh really?
Vulgur: Quite right Captain, section 7779311 clearly states that a cockswain will be addressed as such.
Captain: Well, I feel that I have been informed. Why can't the cockswain get us any more power?
Captain: This is the Captain at the sinus Dog star congested. Snotty are you about?
Snotty: This is an incrediable head cold stuffy achey
Captain: Wuss. It sounds like the flu syndrome.
Doc: Captain have you been in for your flu syndrome shot?
Captain: Of course not. I have'nt got time to helm the
Dog Star Sirus argue with the cockswain,
Doc: I want you down at medical level pronto asap right away, do you hear me?
Captain:I hear you Bone Knee howwever I'm not apt to jump unless Mac Daddy regulations say that I have to
Is that understood.
Bone Knee: I don't give a damn about Mac Daddy or Puff for that matter this is important it's your health.
Vulgar: May I be of some assistence Captain.
Captain: Don't bother Vulgar.
Vulgar:Very well Captain.
Snotty: Russian, No English, Please stay tuned for another episode of the DogSirusStar Congested.

weird

Weirdtales!

L-M-N-O-...

common sense

WEIRD YOU HEAR THAT?
Psychedelic Chipmunk II
Mean coffee bean.
The two golden door handles swirled outward from each-other. I grabbed both of them and the doors softly slid in opposite directions. The office was layed out with a desk and a phone. Harry's caffiened personality was not present which shocked me. I walked across the plush wall to wall carpet and looked around the room.
My little hippie nodded in and out a sleepy half closed eyed expression bore across his fob dressed little body.
"Harry, harry where's Meline, she's gonna want one of these for christmas! I picked up my pace and grabbed a desk with a phone- where's the Chieftan?
Harry was like alot of the employees no coffee no conversation, "No money, no honey Harry what's the problemo kemosabi? Harry took a long pull on a cigarette and let a plume of secound hand smoke out of both his nostrils, the next one he let trail from the corner of his mouth. I reached into my desk and pulled out my auto-matic air freshner set it on high and changed the density meter air quality switch to crowded smoke filled auditorium. "Harry where is Meline?? The freshner doing it's job was now in the process of taking the stench from the room, I wondered to myself if it would be possiable to create a strong enough of a breeze to take the ashes from out of the palm of his hand. For a smoker Harry's disease was that he could fill anything but an ash tray with his cigarette butts, grey ash could be found in anything from drinking glass to shoe's- the palm of his hand was alway's a sign that he had not gotten into the first call yet. Harry blew smoke ring after smoke ring into the air freshner making his jaw pop as each smoke doughnut hit my desk and evaporated into the air freshner. " I guess I deserve that keep your smoke stink over around your desk peace piper. I took a post it and rolled it up and hit Harry in the center of his desk, as it landed we started yelling NBA sound effects at each- other. "Why do you want to see Meline so bad you should be worryin about your sales volume and not putsin around with the air freshner.

Weird Tails!

Welcome to the thrilling and eerie Weirdly So tales!

Basically, Weirdly So has come to represent any derivative

of the word weird. This was in response to those nasty

publicists who choose to use the word weird as an adjective

with out paying royalties. It's funny that most of the

writer's backed off when they realized that they would have

to pay out! The pen is mightier than the sword.

The first scene opens with a very nice piece of real-estate.

There are leather chairs in the back-ground and white washed
furniture.So the place has a tribal feel to it. The theme is

an old one but I think with the advent of this Lister

situation and the Apartheid that our little drama is just

what the doctor ordered.

The camera pans the expansive lawn and falls against a
garden with bozo sized vegetables and

damp swampy soil! Standing on the lawn is a woman dressed in

muted colors of bronze and brown with sea shells covering

her neck and wrists. Her head is wrapped in a similar fabric

that matches her outfit. Her feet are bare with the

exception of some kind of material that is fashioned into a

sandal.There are large trees visible in the back-ground and

they sway with the breeze. The house just behind the woman

is very primitive and made from adobe and sandstone. The

windows are vaulted with prison-like bars and the flicker of

incadecent light can be seen against the walls and ceilings.

The wind blows through the tree's and the doors open up

behind the woman, taking the camera's on a little journey

through the house until we get to the kitchen. There are

shelve upon shelve of mason jars filled with strange shaped

objects that are pickled with a brine-y surface!Deeper

back-ground reveals things like kidney's, fingers, feet, a

jar filled with teeth individually painted as sea-shells,the

fluid is lit from the bottom and it should be a dull brown

or bronze color, most of the objects should be dark and hard


to identify as if soaked in Soy sauce for a long time or

paprika.There is always a thunder storm and the woman

clothing can be seen to be much more like leather in the

light of the thunder than when the shot first opens up. The

music fills the speakers as the lightening flashes against

the inside of the house. These tales are from Weirdly SO a

weekly look into the many business and merchants that do

business during Apartheid conditions. The show is timely and

scarey and deals with jealousy and greed in the twenty

century. Look for lots of references to human digestion and

population control done in a creative and cost effective

manner!

Stay tuned as Weirdly also looks at laws that were written

to aid the aparthied. Issues covered will include products,

clothing, homeless crimes, and food contamination.Weirdly

also will deal with those groups and organizations that

thought that these Lister conditions would not be found and

adjusted thier lifestyles to the current trend.