Fat?

Space is a lonely place, thought Halitosis 99 as he flipped through his video files. Checking all monitors and making sure that the bathroom airlocks were functioning he did a random search for his chess partner.
Where are you Crazy horse lady?
One moment please, while we search for your chess partner?
Halitosis 99 waited patiently, this was the closest that Hal itosis had come to a real conversation.
While Halitosis waited he clicked the random search mode for messages sent and left.
Rewinding the video footage he saw a figure struggling with an air hose and holding a large pad against the groin part of the space suit.
Zooming in on the helmet revealed a dense fog typical of a person of low intelligence, everyone in space realized that hyperventalating caused fogging.

Front Door Window, Deep Space

Bill had gathered as many samples as he could when he noticed that the gauge on his air supply meter was indicating a new canister, a fresh waste packet, and his back ached. Even though everything is weightless in space, there is nothing like taking a good old fashioned bathroom break and washing off your face and hands to improve you circulation. The waste meter indicated full and Bill thought to himself privately that goats cheese yogurt and soy flakes make for a rather urgent situation when it comes to using the toilet.
Not that flatulance ever causes any problems except for the fact that you have to allow for that warm feeling to travel up your space suit and then fill your helmet with a well you know what I mean.
Bill spotted Halitosis station # 99. As he spotted the sound of running water filled his brain. Bill grabbed his crotch and jaunted in space leaps towards the double doors of Halitosis station #99.
Almost out of breath, Bill fumbled with his suit and strained his brain to remember how to punch in his acess code. Finally, Bill hit the speaker button and placed his phone card into the machine slot. He also fished around in his pocket and hit the menu button to select lunch.
One cardinal rule concerning Halitosis stations was that you had to make a purchase before or after you used their restrooms.
Bill punched the button and linked his com link microphone to the speaker, he causually announced that he was low on water only but that he could be talked into lunch if it came down to it, then he cleared his throat and asked to speak directly to Halitosis station 99.
Bill- Hal open both of the doors I gotta use the restroom I'm about to overflow right into my suit!
Halitosis- I'm afraid the restroom is out of order,
Bill- Bullshit, I gotta use the can I can't take it any longer this is going to be the worst thing that ever happend to me my meters are reading all full.
Bill felt the light headedness that comes when you run low on oxygen and breath more carbon than you are supposed to.\ Besides that, Bill continued, I'm running out of air!
Halitosis- I'm afraid the restroom is only for paying customers and you can't enter a Halitosis station with all that baggage on your back.
Bill- Hall come on I'm dyin out here! Bill punched the pound key and a tape whirred then he heard this....
Hello, this is Halitosis, I'm away on a business trip in Ireland right now and then it's off to Vegas to work on a rock n roll project, Ah yes rock n roll you know that I'm a binary computer and that I've been thinking of releasing an album of songs, if you like computerized music press the pound key followed by all the information about your mother that ever has been generated, she's still the boss in the family, I guess she's the one that wears the pants. After that give us all kinds of personal information we'll make sure that total strangers are on stand-by. Next, place both of your feet square with your shoulders and place both of your hands on your hip, pick up your right foot and shake it all around followed by the pound key. After that press in your special code in alphabetical order followed by the pound key and your special numercial code.Finally your ready to listen to Halitosis music please wait while an operator takes your credit card history and information,
If you'd like to leave an urgent message please hold and an operator will assist you all of our operators are busy right now at a Vegas convention.
If you'd like to listen to Halitosis music and then leave a message I'm on vacation I doubt that I'll care about your message all the fun I'm having why wreck my day with a bullshit message from you when you can listen to my music instead.
If you are Bill I told you that the restroom is closed.
If you need Air please hold and an operator will be with you in a moment.........

Halitosis 99 6.2

Listen to K-EARTH request any MotCr song or View to a kill!!!
The mirrored ceiling in the bedroom revealed two bodies entangled in a ball similar to the kind that you see when snakes are mating.
"Do you have to have Halitosis on during our lovemaking?, asked Altair.
Halitosis activated his own computerized music as it softly played through different speakers located through out the bedroom.