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The distant ring of the phone could be heard echoing in the background. The moonlight sent slivers of silvery light through the blinds of the National Automatic Space Library branch.There was a distinct sound of a huge air lock being activated.
Decompression in 5, 4, 3..... The voice simulator began to softly count down. All functions are now deactivated. The switch board at the front of the command station dimmed and then went completely dark.
Nothing but the soft whirr of the hydrolic waste disposale system remained.
Cancrii silently began to count to himself backward. Since using a new form of fatburning pills his digestive system seemed to be stop and go. Well, more stop than go lately.
Lost deep in thought Cancrii began to recant all of the child hood verses that he had learned on earth, back to himself.
He wondered what time it was.
Mean while in the front of the National Automatic Space Library things began to shut down as the staff began to leave for their annual month off. It was customary due to the rigours of maintaining a filing system to take off for as long as thirty days. These days were customarily taken during the Festival of the flatbreads.
"The National Automatic Space Library is now closed please step away from your air locks, check your gravity belts, and turn in all of your battery packs."
Cancrii remembered counting sheep when he was younger. It always helped him pass the time.
The automatic front doors locked with a soft exhale of air.
The red blinking light on the side of the wall turned on and began to flash silently then complete darkness.
Cancrii pushed the flush button.
Finally, he thought to himself, not bothering to turn around and look he moved over to the sink and began to stare vacantly at the image that stared back at him.
Haggared, bleary eye'd and unshaven Cancrii stared at himself as if he waiting for his reflection to answer back.
Halitosis 99 began to do his closing rituals.
Silently checking each command post each phone line each computer link up.
Nothing, thought Halitosis 99 will be better than to get this check list over with and begin to work on my computer music. Halitosis thought about checking with the other computer companies for a software price that would be competive. Better not thought Halitosis 99.
Suddenly, Halitosis noticed a life form in the waste disposal unit. Halitosis switched all power off and began to autodail Attention Citizen one of the newer features that Halitosis had installed since utilizing it's no brainer hardware unit.
Cancrii dried his hands off and began to push against the airlock door. Funny he thought to himself I don't remeber it being this dark or this quite.
Halitosis 99 softly activated the NoBrainer Citizen Alert units,Each unit armed with percussive toss, electromagnetic search and seizure, as well veri-sign.
Outside the newsreporters vehicles began to crowd around the building
















"Hungry?"
I can't say that am Alicia. There is something much more important than food.
More important than food?
Yes, more important than food or money or even personal possesions, Alicia what I'm trying to say is that....
You lost your job?
The sound of the radio continued to fade in and out as Halitosis electronically tuned into different bandwidths.
There was a huge amount of static and then silence.
This Place Crazy. This Crazy Place. 1/2 Crazy;This Place.
Halitosis continued to randomly select different versions of the same phrase over and over again.
Finally, he selected the same station.
I can't eat, I can't sleep without thinking about you Alicia.
Are you trying to tell me something?
Yes.
Well you have to eat, I can't be the cause of your demise health wise.
Why don't we go somewhere and eat together. Would you like that?
Yes, yes that would solve everything.
Well grab your coat and let's go.
Do you still drive the hover craft?
No.
How about the antigravity bus?
Nope.
We could space walk I've got two secure tow cords and this picnic basket. We could stop at the local space store and pick up some things.
Ok that sounds good, just as long as you promise to eat, ok?
Deal.
Halitosis continued to tune in and out of stations randomly finally he turned off the radio and resumed work on his personal project.
After a long period of computer silence Halitosis again turned on the radio and began to tune into its favorite station.
What kind of food do you have here?
I don't know, I never eat this garbage.
Nope, I don't know what kind of crap this is.
The counter person looked through the see through glass.
If you want this garbage to go I can get you a garbage bag to put it in.
Don't heat it up in the oven, the smell of trash makes me sick.
I see. Well what do you recommend?
Listen, you two look like a nice couple of people. Don't go screwing up my day by ordering food out of this trash heap.
Now, What I do have is floor polish. In fact I don't even think that this floor polish is ligit. It's just something that the boss brought over as contaband. It's sort of like one of those scandals.
A huge marsupial walked on it's hind legs and slid across the floor.
Look it;s a mammal of some kind!
Oh , -them.  They eat here is what you think.
They're pretty pickey.'
Now if there is anything else I can do for you.?'
What is your function?- If you don't mind me asking you.
Well,-  I'm glad you asked that question.
My intention and purpose in life is to teach.
You see I fancy myself an instructor.
If you take my course you'll be eating out of the garbage can on your own. You won't need me as the middle person!
















Crazy,THISPLACE.
 
Your in a strange mood.
No not really, I've been drinking.
Your drunk?
Yes, that's correct.
Have you considered going to one of the confidential meetings?
I was going to use you as a sounding board.
In what way.
Well for Instance in stead of me being drunk which I am totally intoxicated at this point.
I was going to flip it around and put you in the drink.
Your drunk!
I am not you just said you were drinking.
Denial, you should seek some treatments, afraid of what your co-workers might think?
Have you gone mad or something, you must be nuts! I have'nt had anything to drink.
I don't even drink on drinking holidays.
What's a drinking holiday?
St Patricks Day.
On earth , but in space?
Ok when else.
I don't know, during superbowls.
Why can't I talk to you like this?
I don't know you walked up to me drunk and you've been rattling on and on ever since.
I thought it was it funny, I mean I really thought that you could handle it.
The silence in the decompression chamber grew by the minute as the two spacemen continued to decompress.
Why on earth would you want to simulate going into deep ocean water out in deep space?
It makes my head feel light.
Fiber Optic the first spaceman takes a small packet from within the folds of his suit and places a tube between his dentin. His eye's grow wider and wider.
What's that between your cheek and gum?
It's helium;squeaked Fiber Optic. "It makes me sound like a duck."
I see. Too many times too many times too many times too many times La-La-La-La-La-La-La "What was that?" You do feel the that then? I can't believe you, we are in deep space and your here inventing different kinds of ways to.. Oh please, hold on a secound. Open your helmet. No. Do it! Negative, you've gone crazy. Do it do it do it! Smoke continued to build up behind his helmet. I want you get this contact, shot gun! Hey what's wrong with you, are you ok? Fiber Optick are you alright. Fiber Optick took a huge inhalation of whisp like smoke when suddenly his suit became inflated. Smoke leaked out from his boots and he froze as his eyes rolled up into his head. His tounge became thick and hung outside of his mouth and then pressed against the dome of his helmet. The temperature slowly lowered until it became freezing cold, Fiber Optick fliped the vent on his suit to experience the chill out when his tough quick froze inside the helmet leaving him like a statue in the middle of the test chamber.