Buckwheat goes to college.

Hello? The front desk of the Guitar shop picked up the reciever and clicked the speaker phone. Who? Oh Buckwheat what's goin on, Oh I see College, great, that's wonderful.
The night air chilled slowly, evenly, and with predictable lack of warmth. Still, it was a beautiful shade of evening. The lack of natural lighting was replaced by the glow of highway lamps, from a distance these lights replaced the beauty of the heavens and the stars seemed to fade in their presence.
Buckwheat mind hummed a tune. This was the most exciting part of his life he reckoned. College. How could Dale believe that he could handle anything more intense than GET EDUCATION TODAY he wondered. That program was the every evening.This was the big time. College. The C word. Buckwheat reached down into his bag.
"Where's my pants?!" Buckwheat howled into the night air.
Where are they!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
frantically Buckwheat dug deeper into his satchel, his eyes narrowed and his face winced in the presence of the cold night air. "Where are you, where have you gone? A man's pants are all that he's got in this world! I can't believe it - however you are My Name is Buckwheat and you have disturbed my karma, my vibration is off and my mind is on my money now which is not a good thing for you! Return this now; Buckwheat yelled out into the open avenue. Car's and people strolled by to see him standing in the center of a spot light provided by the overhead glow of the neon sign in front of You don't have the weight or the stroke to mess with God. The small open window on the top of the 4th floor of this roadside "church" carried the sound of hands clapping and voices singing praises.

The window opened and a suspicious eye was cast downward onto the lighted pavement. Buckwheat paced back and forth frantically wailing and bemoaning the loss of his pants. "How does it seem fair to take a man in his prime and rip his pants off! I can't believe that people feel this way. How can that be a sign of anything but UNSANITY. Buckwheat wore his favorite T-shirt. The lettering read "Get Well Soon". on the back it read "Sorry your so sick!"
You down there, what are you doing?" Buckwheat looked up just in time to see a hand flash past the open window. The music flowed out as the Preacher PHAT;IEis Fat continued his sermon..

What's the first thing that I do in the moring? I praise the good lord for my safe arrival into the next day. A day that I can praise the lord until evening. I can't say anything about what you do every morning before you start your day, I can't call it! The only thing I can do is wonder how to please the lord in every way. I 've got to think up new ways every day just in case I fall short and stumble.

"Why do people do it?" The honorable PHAT:IEisfat looked around the stunned room of praise worship orientated people some with their palms extended upward toward the ceiling others with both hands to the side left and right palmer side oblique.

I said why do people do it? Again PHAT:ieis fat asked.

The demon is in the swine! The swine comes from the series of aniamls and incarnations that were cursed by god. The sign of pestulence. Disease. Sickness. How can we get well and bring ourselves up. Can we do this by ourselves or do we need help?
Raise your hand if you ever needed help in anyway.

The capacity crowd overflowed the street church and ebbed into the hallway. The overhead lighting was harsh and the colors and flowers against the stage where The honorable PHAT:ieisfat stood was well lit.

I'm going to tell you that even I have needed help in my life time. I was not was at one time, going nowhere fast....

The squeaky wheel didn't want to churn and turn for me I had to ask God to oil it. I had to ask God to move that mountain, I had to ask God to cast that Olive tree into the Ocean so that it could bear fruit one day, I had to ask God to reveal the beauty of the thorney rose, to explain the shade provided by the tiniest grain of the feild and to wonder with awe and inspiration the actions of the Raven while he wants not for food or shelter. I can't eat everything I see that would be greedy God would look down and serve me right away. I can't have everything to myself while other's go without. When I get full of the Lords powerful spirit don't I find you and share the word and the power of Jeus.

The capacity crowd responded. Say it Phat. Talk to God about me! I feel like the lord is inspiring me, I feel like the lord is my employer and he's out hiring me, I feel like the lord is a good book and I need to read him, I feel like the lord is a banquet and he is inviting me to sit down and wash my feet and to take of his divine message to give me norishment for I feel like I can't live on bread alone, I feel like I need the word of God , God is my conversion, he's my citrus, he's my nuitrition he's my essential , he's my baseline, he's my serif, he's my stroke, God is my X height minus the worry minus the strife.He lifts me up and carries my bags gives me the power and the strength, he's the sheild, he's my rock!"

I believe it's time to kick up the volume to turn the microphone up and give it to God. I can stand to hear the Lord's word at the volume of ten fold, - Praise who will Praise the Lord with me in song.

The curtains moved slowly to the side and the voices of heaven began to ready themselves for another rousing Gospel song. The bass kick drum echoed.

"I'm ready to wig out for the Lord!"

Buckwheat stood in front of the door of the street church as the door opened.

A woman stood in the yellow lighting of the overhead ceiling flourescent bulbs. Who are you out here talking to child?"

Anybody and everybody "I'm Buckwheat and I want my pants back!"
The traffic moved back and forth in front of Buckwheat. The light from the street lamp glowed the color of chalk against the side walk. The night air was brisk, the cold gripped against Buckwheat and clung to him like a wet blanket on a cold winter night. The frost wafted from his lips like steam into the night air. The woman continued to look at Buckwheat. "Have you talked to Jeus about your troubles? You know that you can lay it all in his hands. The woman fiddled into her purse as if she was going to extract some money and instead produced a small pamphlet with a big hand on the cover pointing upward. The title read; You and The Man Upstairs. God the landlord of our bodies of christ. Read this she said; What did you think it was going to be some money? Buckwheat broke his concentration and looked at the woman full on. I didn;t ask you for any money I'm trying to find my pants. The woman continued to scratch and pull and tug on her clothing. Do you want some clothing? I have a connection I can get you anything. The woman bent down and began to scratch her legs rapidly. I can get you a pair of pants. She reached around her back and stuck her hand in back of her clutching the material behind her and pulling on it. " I hate it when my underwear get caught like that? You know what I mean, hecks I don't have to be shy around you where do you live? Buckwheat looked at the woman. I live in a Pizza Hut. Oh, why don't you let me get you some clothes. The woman pulled her wig off and began to scratch her head. We've got some combs too you should comb that hair of yours is that a hairstyle or is it early American nap? Buckwheat looked at the woman. No thanks I can't wear somebodies clothing it's not sanitary. The choir continued to sing some scracthing underneath their robes. It's not too late to get something to eat I was about to throw away I could just as easily give it to you. Again thanks but no thanks. A smell covered the front of the door way and it smelled like wet monkeys. Buckwheat stepped back. Can I ask you a question? The woman leered at Buckwheat. I told you I don't have any money on me. She smiled. Don't you work? Where are your parents? Buckwheat continued. What does F. H stand for? The woman looked at him.First hebrew. To the sink to remove that stink. You have the smell of ten monkeys on you. It's 14 monkey situation just standing down wind of you. I don't know how you can stand there and smell like that but get some soap Lavodo. It's an ASAP situation. I couldn't care less about the garbage that you were going to throw away. Don't let me stop you continue till you get to the trash can. I can't believe you. Buckwheat looked at the payphone. I'm going to the media about my pants I can't take it any longer. Radio he yelled into the night air, my only salvation.


				*Weird Magazine Bid:Weirdly So!* *Buckwheat goes to college.*



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		The adventures of Nut and flushright, bumpheads!



		"I've always dreamed of becoming a screenwriter," Buckwheat leaned back in the soft part of the chair and let the thick pleather- the scientific bond between plastic and leather hit him squarely between the scapula. Dale Arrow was one of Palmdales finest athletic champions. In both physical and agility ability Dale placed first in his division. Now a days however Dale was behind his desk at Oakdale High School. He ran the night program for GET. Get Education Today! On the wall were Dales past accomplishments,certificates, awards, letters of comindation and even a ribbon from the Mayor's supermarket shopper picnic. Scattered along the top of his bookshelf just to the left of the office were his clergy certificates. Dale held onto the sides of his desk with both hands, he was a strong man with large knuckled hands. The top of dales head was a little browner than the sides of his head. This was due in part to a home dye job that Marta his full time operator and part-time girlfriend had done to him over the weekend. There were just a hint of streaks that shone against his skin in the glint of the mid-afternoon sunlight. Buckwheat, what I need you to do is keep thinking positive thoughts. That's what this country was built upon. People like yourself, with goals and ambitions that want to make something of themselves and further that thought Buckwheat - want to do something for this country. This country is a wonderful place full of oportunity. Why every day people from all over the world come here just to get a chance to experience freedoms that would be otherwise unavailable to them if not for here. What do you think about the millions of Americans here in the United States Buckwheat that don't ever take advantage of being here! Buckwheat looked up into the glinting sunlight that radiated from behind Dale. "A desire to do things; continued Dale is what built this country. "I thought the Chinese built this country; countered Buckwheat.They built the trains Buckwheat. Same thing Buckwheat countered. It's good, summarized Dale, that you have a viewpoint on history. It builds character. You might in fact have a very valid point. It's refreashing Buckwheat that you exhibit cross cultural preferences. Do you see where I'm headed Buckwheat? Dale waited for the last message to sit with Buckwheat who sat in a swivel chair with both feet dangling off the ground. He took turns shrugging his left shoulder, than his right shoulder trying to make himself more comfortable in the large imatiation leather chair. Pleather; he exclaimed. What was that Buckwheat I didn't quite hear you. Nothing Mr Arrow. I was just thinking out loud. Buckwheat call me Dale let's drop the formality of the whole Mr Arrow thing right now. I'm looking at a college student now Buckwheat. Buckwheat turned around in the swivel chair and looked behind him. "I can understand if you have someone else to talk to Mr. Arrow, I mean Dale. I can always come back and talk to you about my films when your not so busy. I did'nt mean to take up that much of your time and I really should have had it thought out... Nonsense, Buckwheat. The college student that I'm looking at is you." 'Get Education Today!: exclaimed Buckwheat.



		Hello? The front desk of the Guitar shop picked up the reciever and clicked the speaker phone. Who? Oh Buckwheat what's goin on, Oh I see College, great, that's wonderful. The night air chilled slowly, evenly, and with predictable lack of warmth. Still, it was a beautiful shade of evening. The lack of natural lighting was replaced by the glow of highway lamps, from a distance these lights replaced the beauty of the heavens and the stars seemed to fade in their presence. Buckwheat mind hummed a tune. This was the most exciting part of his life he reckoned. College. How could Dale believe that he could handle anything more intense than GET EDUCATION TODAY he wondered. That program was the every evening.This was the big time. College. The C word. Buckwheat reached down into his bag. "Where's my pants?!" Buckwheat howled into the night air. Where are they!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" frantically Buckwheat dug deeper into his satchel, his eyes narrowed and his face winced in the presence of the cold night air. "Where are you, where have you gone? A man's pants are all that he's got in this world! I can't believe it - however you are My Name is Buckwheat and you have disturbed my karma, my vibration is off and my mind is on my money now which is not a good thing for you! Return this now; Buckwheat yelled out into the open avenue. Car's and people strolled by to see him standing in the center of a spot light provided by the overhead glow of the neon sign in front of You don't have the weight or the stroke to mess with God. The small open window on the top of the 4th floor of this roadside "church" carried the sound of hands clapping and voices singing praises. The window opened and a suspicious eye was cast downward onto the lighted pavement. Buckwheat paced back and forth frantically wailing and bemoaning the loss of his pants. "How does it seem fair to take a man in his prime and rip his pants off! I can't believe that people feel this way. How can that be a sign of anything but UNSANITY. Buckwheat wore his favorite T-shirt. The lettering read "Get Well Soon". on the back it read "Sorry your so sick!" You down there, what are you doing?" Buckwheat looked up just in time to see a hand flash past the open window. The music flowed out as the Preacher PHAT;IEis Fat continued his sermon.. What's the first thing that I do in the moring? I praise the good lord for my safe arrival into the next day. A day that I can praise the lord until evening. I can't say anything about what you do every morning before you start your day, I can't call it! The only thing I can do is wonder how to please the lord in every way. I 've got to think up new ways every day just in case I fall short and stumble. "Why do people do it?" The honorable PHAT:IEisfat looked around the stunned room of praise worship orientated people some with their palms extended upward toward the ceiling others with both hands to the side left and right palmer side oblique. I said why do people do it? Again PHAT:ieis fat asked. The demon is in the swine! The swine comes from the series of aniamls and incarnations that were cursed by god. The sign of pestulence. Disease. Sickness. How can we get well and bring ourselves up. Can we do this by ourselves or do we need help? Raise your hand if you ever needed help in anyway. The capacity crowd overflowed the street church and ebbed into the hallway. The overhead lighting was harsh and the colors and flowers against the stage where The honorable PHAT:ieisfat stood was well lit. I'm going to tell you that even I have needed help in my life time. I was not was at one time, going nowhere fast.... The squeaky wheel didn't want to churn and turn for me I had to ask God to oil it. I had to ask God to move that mountain, I had to ask God to cast that Olive tree into the Ocean so that it could bear fruit one day, I had to ask God to reveal the beauty of the thorney rose, to explain the shade provided by the tiniest grain of the feild and to wonder with awe and inspiration the actions of the Raven while he wants not for food or shelter. I can't eat everything I see that would be greedy God would look down and serve me right away. I can't have everything to myself while other's go without. When I get full of the Lords powerful spirit don't I find you and share the word and the power of Jeus. The capacity crowd responded. Say it Phat. Talk to God about me! I feel like the lord is inspiring me, I feel like the lord is my employer and he's out hiring me, I feel like the lord is a good book and I need to read him, I feel like the lord is a banquet and he is inviting me to sit down and wash my feet and to take of his divine message to give me norishment for I feel like I can't live on bread alone, I feel like I need the word of God , God is my conversion, he's my citrus, he's my nuitrition he's my essential , he's my baseline, he's my serif, he's my stroke, God is my X height minus the worry minus the strife.He lifts me up and carries my bags gives me the power and the strength, he's the sheild, he's my rock!" I believe it's time to kick up the volume to turn the microphone up and give it to God. I can stand to hear the Lord's word at the volume of ten fold, - Praise who will Praise the Lord with me in song. The curtains moved slowly to the side and the voices of heaven began to ready themselves for another rousing Gospel song. The bass kick drum echoed. "I'm ready to wig out for the Lord!" Buckwheat stood in front of the door of the street church as the door opened. A woman stood in the yellow lighting of the overhead ceiling flourescent bulbs. Who are you out here talking to child?" Anybody and everybody "I'm Buckwheat and I want my pants back!" The traffic moved back and forth in front of Buckwheat. The light from the street lamp glowed the color of chalk against the side walk. The night air was brisk, the cold gripped against Buckwheat and clung to him like a wet blanket on a cold winter night. The frost wafted from his lips like steam into the night air. The woman continued to look at Buckwheat. "Have you talked to Jeus about your troubles? You know that you can lay it all in his hands. The woman fiddled into her purse as if she was going to extract some money and instead produced a small pamphlet with a big hand on the cover pointing upward. The title read; You and The Man Upstairs. God the landlord of our bodies of christ. Read this she said; What did you think it was going to be some money? Buckwheat broke his concentration and looked at the woman full on. I didn;t ask you for any money I'm trying to find my pants. The woman continued to scratch and pull and tug on her clothing. Do you want some clothing? I have a connection I can get you anything. The woman bent down and began to scratch her legs rapidly. I can get you a pair of pants. She reached around her back and stuck her hand in back of her clutching the material behind her and pulling on it. " I hate it when my underwear get caught like that? You know what I mean, hecks I don't have to be shy around you where do you live? Buckwheat looked at the woman. I live in a Pizza Hut. Oh, why don't you let me get you some clothes. The woman pulled her wig off and began to scratch her head. We've got some combs too you should comb that hair of yours is that a hairstyle or is it early American nap? Buckwheat looked at the woman. No thanks I can't wear somebodies clothing it's not sanitary. The choir continued to sing some scracthing underneath their robes. It's not too late to get something to eat I was about to throw away I could just as easily give it to you. Again thanks but no thanks. A smell covered the front of the door way and it smelled like wet monkeys. Buckwheat stepped back. Can I ask you a question? The woman leered at Buckwheat. I told you I don't have any money on me. She smiled. Don't you work? Where are your parents? Buckwheat continued. What does F. H stand for? The woman looked at him.First hebrew. To the sink to remove that stink. You have the smell of ten monkeys on you. It's 14 monkey situation just standing down wind of you. I don't know how you can stand there and smell like that but get some soap Lavodo. It's an ASAP situation. I couldn't care less about the garbage that you were going to throw away. Don't let me stop you continue till you get to the trash can. I can't believe you. Buckwheat looked at the payphone. I'm going to the media about my pants I can't take it any longer. Radio he yelled into the night air, my only salvation.