Tails and Short Stories.

IN

"That'll be fine Ernie!" Contenental Man turned in his seat and revoled around grasping the edges of the counter only long enough to spin himself around again.
His voice sounded as if it were being spoken through a fan.
Each part of his sentences echoed and vibrated as he whirled around in circles.
"See if you can get me a booth will ya?"
Ernie eye'd the patron and contined to pull tickets from the greasy silver wheel in front of the order window.
"Theresa see if you can get Contental Man a booth, please." "Sure thing Ernie".
Theresa was plump her best asset was how she wore her stockings. They gleamed and the overhead lights made you look right up her dress. Her shoes were made out of plastic however they looked like leather sometimes.
The laces were worn and barely reached the other side of her foot.
Theresa carried a tray with a few creamers in it and a pitcher of decafe.
"Coffee?"
"Sure";replied Contental Man.
Theresa placed the contents on the table and left a napkin and table setting with a fork spoon and knife wrapped in the center of it.
"How's the chili?"
"The chili, like all our food is great"; replied Ernie.
"Well then add that to my order."
Contenental Man continued to look at the picture of a huge bowl of chile with little strips of cheese floating on the top of a really dark brown concotion. There were crackers on the side.
Theresa came back over to the newly set table to check on the order.
"Let's see if we have everything correct Contental Man.
You ordered a yogart.A pot of baked beans with molassas.Spinach Quiche with egg. 4 Grilled cheese sandwiches, one barrito deep fried,A chef salad with extra julliene,heavy dressing and cherry tomatoes."
"Yes that's correct".
Contental Man sipped on his coffee. "Hey- this taste really weak!"
"It's chickoree; replied Theresa, don't you like it"?
"Nope, see if you can get me a Macadamia Nut brand."
"Ok".
Contental Man looked across the room. The din of glasses tinkling and muted conversations filled the cafe.
One table 4 there was a picture of a Huge vanilla shake made with corn syrup,carbonated soda, and ice cream the advert read Vanilla Volcano!
In the back of the cafe the manager and some of the workers held a small informal discussion.
"I can't see keeping the rest rooms open it's way too early and most of the AM crowd just eats and leaves. I have'nt had any sleep in so long that my eyes have bags that need to be checked in at the airport. I'm for just closing the ladies and the gentlemens room down and shutting off the backhalf of the cafe and then opening up the drive thru.
I need about 5 hours of sleep if I'm going to make it"!
The manager looked at the worker. "Well if we open the drive thru we could in fact close the restrooms. It's early. We still have some patrons so we'll leave the rooms open for another 2 hours and then we'll put up the inconvenience signs".
The manager went back to the kitchen to inform the cook and the waitresses on how the cafe would be run for the next 7 hours.
When the food arrived it had to brought by service tray. Each platter was arranged around the oval booth table. Contental Man could barely make room for his silverware setting after the coffee rearrived. The last was the Vanilla Volcano shake which stood proudly in the center of the table. Literally enough food to feed a party. Contental Man dipped and chomped with delight as he used his fingers and the forks to create all kinds of mix and match delights.
The steaming chili bowl was filled to the brim and had large dark beans in it. It was so thick that you could cut it with a small knife! The cheese was missing and he had to remind the waitress to bring a side order in a small bowl.
She smiled and apoligized for the oversight.
"Fruit"; he thought.
After a small conversation he decided on the Prune Danish.
With or without the danish the price was the same so he decided to get the danish with the prunes.
"Fruits; he thought to himself, are part of an essential diet".
2 1/2 hours passed and the cafe slowly emptied as the drive thru opened to recieve a line of cars periodically.
Contental Man loosened the top notch of his belt and continued to sample everything on the table. Sometimes dripping contents onto the table.
The Vanilla Volcano rumbled through his midsection and stopped just short of his tranverse colon.
Contenental Man rubbed his lower abdomin as another wave of Vanilla Volcano ripped it way through his ascending colon like a ride at Magic Mountain. His brow became lightly damp with sweat, however he felt perfectly able to handle the situation. There was still plenty of chili left he thought as he reached for a heaping spoon full. The chili was extremely greasy and was filled with huge beans. He crushed a few complimentary packages of crackers to give it texture.
A huge amount of cheese had to be side ordered to give it more body. He stirred the mixture in it's bowl while eyeing the rest of his table for eatables.
The smell of hot coffee hit his nose and he instinctively reached for the cup taking a deep draw of Macadamia Nut Blend!

The hum of the dishwasher.