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Dear John.

UPGOESWHAT

Dear John!

Advice

AdviceColumn

Wierd

Fatman

&ROB-HIM!








































Free.

Weird
Once again we endure another tabloid magazine.
US. Give us a break? There is no planned appearance by
Michael at New York City Madison Square Garden, although the 1984 concert was real this one would be weird!

verrywierd






Congested Dog star

Dog-Star Demented
Clearly our objective seems clear gentleman. The state of the Universe as we know it may be at stake. Any questions?
The speaker looked around the council room for any signs of life. This was the 45th meeting of PortaPotti's general management development team members associates.
Time management he continued is the crucial element in space waste dumping."






Drynot?

WINE-O
Understand you Understand

What do you know about...it? Well the idea of it is what I'm getting at. The Jaybird stood on the edge of the branch. It rotated its body around displaying all its varied colors.
"What's that smell? Wine-O exclaimed. The dog looked at the very edge of the park. Perimeter zone, he thought to himself.
You will know it! In a moment. He trotted off to investigate the area. Two of the birds sat in the upper most part of the tallest tree. There they peered down at the scene.
Yes. there he is, chirped the pigeon. I may be North Shore however he must be snappy if he thinks that we are going to eat bread with that dog here today. He'll learn he seems to be demented enough to believe in vegetarinism.
"Where are you my fine feathered freinds.
The dog sat in the grass and stared at Wine-O.
"You shall learn a very valuable leason my freind. Down hill.it Rolls. It rolls downhill." He trotted off again this time in another direction.
"I wonder, said Wine-O why what I can smell I can't see.
"Oh brother, excalimed North Shore I'd better go down there for a moment before he the snap becomes E and that means snappy my man."
Wine-O looked at North Shore.
"Let's see do you remember Dick Clark, he exclaimed. What with the time zone changes I still did manage to get to see the ten thousand dollar pyriamid my man are you familair with it?"
Wine-O looked at North Shore.
Yes, I consider him to be a good freind of mine.....
North Shore interjected First word Dog
Wine-O blinked slowly then responded.
Doby.
North Shore: Breed unimportant.Brains! This is more difficult than I thought.
Next question? Wine-O questioned.
North Shore. Same subject.Again Dog.
Wine-O: and Butterfly!
North Shore: No, Losing it!
Wine-O: The idea of it.
North Shore: Don't you think you ought to wipe off your shoe?
with that he flew off chirping over his shoulder "BYE,BYE NOW, Get Well Soon!Sorry to hear your so sick today.
Don't forget to wash your hands after.Bye Bye Now>
With that North Shore soared over the entire park and then went in a northern direction to "look"he called out for "common sense".
Oh, Geez e pee zee,"Little dog, Little dog what I step in.
Boom Chakalaka Boom Chakala. Against the ground up to my chin.Little dog, Little dog what is that smell?
Must we start before we begin?
Boom Chakalaka.
Little dog, Little dog way after dark. Watch where you step look at your watch.
The purple flower petals covered all the neat little dog poop patches in the park called feild.
"What, exclaimed North shore rolls down hill?
"Maybe, muttered Wine-O if I'm really careful I won't break the seal on it.
"I doubt that very much my man exclaimed Wahine. That is pure 100 percent no money back, original, dog.
Figure it out brother and get to the wipe ok?
North Shore: Find a leaf or some paper my man and keep your hands out of your eyes.
North Shore:Wigging!
Wahine: Outstanding! Get On with..... it!
Do."
North shore: It!
Wine-O: What...... is this maddness! The idea of it!
Wahine:Garrulus!








































Kay 9
If you had a brain you might actually be dangerous!

Kay gently combed her hair. The only way she combed her hair was by chanting over and over again to herself- hair combs the judge, hair combs the judge. Endlessy she stroked her perfect coif. Her uniform was kool. For example, last summer she attended the uniformed assembly of right things done to those who do wrong. The speaker Iam trying. Spoke into the microphone which carried his pledge to the audience as they in turn repeated every word he said to the cadence of the pledge of allegience.
The sign over the hall lecture room read Why do it? Iam Trying was adjusting the slide projector and the house lights were diming.
"If you'll just give me a few more moments I'll be right with you, I am spoke aloud as he contined to fiddle with the adjustments. Finally, the machine roared to life and the wheel that carried all the slides whirred and hissed. A blur of colors swiftly went clicking off. Each photo moving too fast to be discerned by the audience.
Kay 9 immediatly sensed that I am Trying could benifet from her really cool and nifty laser pointer. It was calibrated and completely useable on the target range. It had a modifed attachment that allowed it to be used as a hair clip and it had another attachment that when used in unison with her reversable battery operated toothbrush that also had a removeable brush head attachment that could be used to clean the barrel of any weopon listed in the best selling book how to mind your own business,inserted in the back of the book on page 100 listed under the heading The National Nation of Ballistic range hostels and hotel vacation tour groups,golfing junkets,vegas tour package,& various other group orientated activities section 789.45 ie"The idea of it"subheading yada yada yada.com
Kay unseated herself from her folding;unfolding titanium frame super molded;double helium,self generating,cd-interactive,helmet included,brand new,still under manufactures service regulated,high density,i-link,
featured in the August issue of Videography.IAM TRYING looked up in a startled way as she double pumped her bicycle and rode up the division between the seated audience members and came to a complete stop using her ceramic disk brake optional attachment. She had a T-shirt that read "dressed to kill". "Here, she exclaimed, this penlight might help you a little better during your display". With that she tossed it to him. "Thanks replied I AM TRYING. His shirt read The Idea of It! "Well, I AM replied, thats very nice of you except that I don't think I'll want to it looks kind of expensive.
Who might you be? I replied Kay, am Kay 9. My freind used to call me 9 but then I got a call from this television director and he told me not to call myself 9 out of ten times or anything like that".