It was just another day in our fair city. Nothing unusual.The throng of citizens with alternative lifestyles had just finished their bi-monthly jamboree. The ground was litered with their propaganda.Most of the joggers were gone now. Oh, a few might still be found streching their limbs against tree's that were transplanted by the government.
Trash cans filled to capacity lined the streets as the last of the porta johns was removed. One thing people liked about citizens of alternative lifestyles was the fact that they always got portable restrooms stationed at every corner.
A squad of sunglassed alternative lifestyle people moved in a close bunch.Since the recent uprise of people moving into the area citzens of alternative lifestyles had been complaining.
Their last meeting was reflective of the way they felt about life in general.Their banners carried messages of doom and destruction to anyone that did not share their beliefs.
It was nearly noon now and the last group of banner waving groups got into unregistered vehicles and drove off slowly yelling alternative lifestyle slogans at passersby.
FatMan stood hands poised over his ample hips as he winced at the chafe that his suit caused.
FatMan walked legs akimbo towards the medicine cabinet.
"What's the problem, FatMan, inquired Robhimnotme.
FatMan paused. Reach me that bottle of skin lotion Robhimnotme,I'm chaffed my thighs are rubbing together again.
FatMan tossed two wet dollar bills at Robhimnotme. Keep the change Robhim.
Maybe thought Robhimnotme I'm spending too much time with FatMan. I mean two bucks and wet ones at that are never going to get me a car or a date with lois. It's just no working out if FatMan can't come up with the Fat Cash!
Robhimnotme looked through the cabinet until he found a bottle of fatburning cell cream.
How about this fatburning cell cream?, Rob him called over his shoulder.
The room was filled with fanny busters, abdominal slave units, and plastic punster clothing.
Suddenly, the fatphone rang.
Mushi,Mushi- this is FatMan how can I help you?
FatMan! I'm so glad that I caught you your not eating lunch or anything are you?
Well, FatBurgers is just around the corner and they don't deliver.
We need you FatMan.......

RobHim looked silently at FatMan while he talked on the fat phone. I wonder, thought Rob-himnotme how many fatbucks FatMan thinks he can get doing these cheap sound alike plugs.
Robhim stared at the pile of receipts from Cybercenter, Pizza Hut, Real Ice Cream from Jacks,and sneaky video clips shot at Trader Joe's, still RobHimnotme thought to himself it was not like this in the very beginning. No, crime stopping was the name of that tune. He remembered as eye's began to water and the smell of food wafted through the window into the fat conference room.
I'm hungry FatMan, exclaimed Robhimnotme.
Well, Robhim is hungry so be quick about it what do you need to talk to me about on the fatphone this close to lunch time?
A pause filled the room with silence as FatMan continued to grunt and answer in breif terse sounds of acknowledgment.
I see. Yes. Aha. No kidding. I agree. Of course.
FatMan stomach started to growl setting of the fatwaist band alarm system by Jauqes. FatMan adjusted his tummy reducer.Suddenly he blurted into the phone.
I see. It looks like people are advertising with trash.Is the trash readable? This is a low form of adverstiments and can only be corrected.....
Robhim listened and his mind raced into the past. He remembered when FatMan &Robhimnotme were a team dedicated to the fair city they now live in.
Back, further and further Robhimnotme remembered.
He remembered the villians Press me so close, and play me so close the punster villians of ryhme and crime.
That was an interesting case. That was why Robhimnotme withstood all the nasty comments about two grown men washing their clothes together at the same laundry mat.
That was real crime busting.
It was all so real to him now. The past becomming the present Robhim recalled.

Don't Press me & Play me so close.
Man, what in the fug ugly are you doing now. Press me fiddled with his radio. Gee, I'm listening to the radio? It's blast from the past week Gee, I thought you knew that old school was in effect. Dig it you been hanging out with that weak sound you call your own music dig it. This is the flavor that eye savor.
Your face and my......
Dudley do wrong you are to me my main man. What you need home boy..
home boy?
What's a homeboy.
Quite naturally that's a boy that stays at home.
Oh, I was just checking.
You mean my crib?
Are you basing? You roll em and I'll swoll em?
Naw, you don't want none of me, homee.
I'll cancel all your holidays.
Your mama. I'll make you take your sick time now, instead of later.
Don't write no checks that your fat ass can't cash.
Man, slow down you don't have to get an attitude. Why can't we all just get along?
Just then there was a knock at the door. Two three hundred pound guards dressed to kill were standing shoulder to shoulder. "Open up in there Punsters, we know that you are in there!
Man, flush the toilet. It's violent hatwear time!
Man it aint the Ted Mack hour but if you know any songs that sound like Pat Boone now your's time to shine!
Man, let me handle it! Press me to close opened up the window and had half his body outside the apartment. You answer the door I'll run out to the store to get some refreashments, you now soda, chips, a lawyer, bail money,
see ya!
With that Press me to close slipped and slid out the window.
Boom, Boom Boom, the door rattled.
I said come out of there Punster's!
Play me to close opened the eye scope on the door.
He grabbed an aerosol can of Fresh as Daisies from the top shelf and began to hum loudly while he stuck in a tape of choreographed singing bikers in synchopated dance rythems.
He grabbed an alternative lifestyle poster and shoved it under the door.
Just a minute!he sing songed.
I've got some cookies I'm baking in the oven, I'll be right with you. Real Men with real jobs!